The Six Best Ways To Beat The Stress Of
DEATH, DIVORCE, &
MOVING are the three most stressful experiences in life.
My 10 years in the business, plus moving my own family 10 times, has taught
me some important lessons. I learned that there are two very different kinds
of needs that people have while moving. First there are the transactional
needs, like putting the house up for sale, finding a buyer, negotiating the
price, filling out the paperwork, handling the escrow, and arranging for
the move. But there are also emotional needs that are involved when moving,
and this is where the biggest stress comes in. Any competent agent will handle
the transactional needs for you, but if your emotional needs are unfulfilled,
you'll be frustrated and may not act in your own best interests. The ideal
real estate agent is one who is competent with paperwork and numbers, but
can also guide, direct, and counsel you through the emotional ups and downs
Here are the six best ways we've found to beat the stress.
1. Begin with the end in mind.
Have an ultimate scenario of where you're trying to be. What will life be
like when you get there? How will it be better than where you are now? Dwell
on that picture and write it out, fill up at least a page about how it feels
in the new place. This is imperative. Having the goal in front of you at
all times energizes you to achieve it, in spite of setbacks and frustrations.
Emotions will run high and you need an anchor. In childbirth, the Lamaze
method teaches you to focus on one spot when enduring labor pains. In the
Bible it says that Jesus willingly went to the cross by focusing on the joy
He would have when it was over. In the same way, you too must focus on that
future goal when anxiety threatens to get the better of you.
2. Be flexible.
In your monetary calculations, have a pad of 2 or 3 thousand dollars. In
this buyers market, anything can happen between contract acceptance and closing.
The fact is, there are so many protections for the buyer these days, that
just about anything can be a reason to renegotiate what was already agreed
upon. It could be the inspections reveal areas of concern, or the appraisal
may even come in low. As your agent, I would strive to tie up these loose
ends as quickly as possible, but remember there is no perfect world.
After inspections are performed, the buyer usually has a laundry list of
items to be repaired. This feels like adding insult to injury! Sometimes
sellers are not happy with the prices they are getting anyway, and now it
seems the buyer is milking them for more. It certainly feels like that and
I've seen many sellers get angry. Anger is caused when reality doesn't match
up with the expectations you had in your mind. So if you anticipate this
happening in advance, you won't get angry. In fact, it'll probably go better
than you expected.
3. Trust in the process.
There's just so much to do, it's easy to panic. You wonder if it will ever
work out. In fact, when we bought our house, we couldn't eat for a day, we
felt sick to our stomachs! You think you're taking a big chance, but the
truth is you're giving yourself a big chance. Even though you can't see every
step of the way, as you move towards your goals, the way opens up. We know
that you haven't moved in a long time and it's a major upheaval in your life.
But we've been there many many times before, and we'll be looking out for
you. Trust that we know the way to get you there.
4. Get knowledge.
One thing you'll probably feel during this transition time is being out of
control. It feels like everyone else has taken over your life. The buyer,
the buyer's lender, the appraiser, the inspector, they all have the power
to say yes or no to your moving plans. The termite inspector, the title company,
the repairmen all can reach into your pockets and reduce your bottom line.
I'll try my best to let you know ahead of time what your expenses will be,
and what the unknowns are. I'll tie down the loose ends as soon as possible.
I'll try to get the buyer's loan approved within a reasonable time frame.
One way to avoid the buyer requesting repairs is to fix everything that isn't
perfect in your house before selling it! But on the other hand, they probably
will only request a few things, and I guarantee it won't be the things you
would pick if you were buying the house!
5. What is your option?
When things don't go as smoothly as you had hoped, don't let emotions take
over. Always ask yourself "What is my option?" because there are always options.
Let's pretend the buyer takes longer than agreed upon to get his loan. You'll
feel upset because you wanted to feel certain about the move and now you
still have to live with the uncertainty. You want to say "Forget you, I'm
fed up with this!" But what is your option? Cancel the agreement and find
another buyer? That may take months, plus you have to wait for the new buyer
to get a loan anyway. If the buyer's trying his best, it may be better to
give him a few more days. Each case is unique, but when setbacks occur I've
found that asking yourself this question helps to defuse the situation and
restore clear headed thinking.
6. Seek entertainment.
When there's nothing you can do about the situation, take your mind off of
it altogether. Maybe you expected loan approval on Friday, but now it won't
come until Monday. You hate being in limbo and feeling powerless. So do something
else entirely, maybe something where you aren't powerless. Take a hike, play
tennis, get out of town for the day. Watch a movie, pray, or pour yourself
into your work. Whatever diversion works best for you, now would be a good
time to engage in it. Just forget the situation and refuse to listen to those
irritating thoughts when they come into your head. Think about something
else instead, and just do it one day at a time.
|To keep stress to a minimum, here's how I'll
serve you when you hire me to sell your home:
Give my best reasoned expert counsel and advice with your best interests
Clarify your goals and motivation, and decide if moving is the wisest
choice at this time.
Remove the risk in listing your property - you can fire me at any
Expose your property to the greatest possible number of potential
Provide recommendations and information to help your kids through all
Give tactful guidance on staging the property to appeal to the majority
Develop a strategic marketing campaign with enticing advertising
Send first class color fact sheets to top agents and your friends and
Employ the latest in technology to mastermind ways to get your property
Negotiate effectively for you to get the highest amount in your
Treat your money like it was my own, shaving every expense possible.
Protect your interests during escrow, keeping a detailed record of the
Be your level-headed sounding board or relief valve when the stress
Counsel you through the feelings of loss and remorse.
Alert you ahead of time to every possibility so you feel more in
Contact you daily during the last 10 days of the transaction to serve
Provide guidance and help with movers, change of address, utilities
shut off, cleaning, etc.
Deliver your closing paperwork and check.
Continue to give you information of value after the transaction... for